Obsessed with quality AND quantity, we’re at JOLLY BOTANIST: Specialist gin bar and fabulous eatery. The big challenge – continuing our incredibly stressful run of first world probs – which of the more than 100 gorgeous gins to try?? 

   

Making our hard lives slightly easier, each comes with suggested tonic and garnish – thank god!! – so seconds later we’re ver much enjoying Porter’s Tropical Old Tom, with hints of honey and gorgeous citrus spice.

Just as refreshing is the music No need for Isaac to complain [ yet again ] about “f**king-white-music” for Jolly B has an excellent soundtrack of old school R&B.

One is currently tapping one’s toe to: It’s like a jungle out there, it makes me wonder how I keep from going under …

   

Though before we can bellow at fellow patrons: Don’t push me, ‘cos I’m close to the … We’re happily distracted by a Black Tomato Gin with Cushiedoos Tonic [ a fave  ] & generous sprig of basil. The subtle notes of fresh salt & sweet tomato: magnificent.

Though we’re also here to dine, and soon over-ordering as well – quelle surprise – kicking off with the Scottish tapas, boasting everything from Tempura King Prawns to Honey-glazed short rib.

Almost impossible to choose, we finally land on a saucy bottle of French rosé [ sounds painful ] scrumptious Maple & Garlic Confit Pork Belly, and a lush Mac & Cheese with three dreamy Scottish cheeses 

But best tapa of all: Maharaja Lamb Chops with Bombay Spiced Potatoes. This mouthwatering dish is perfectly pink, super tender, and FULL of joy!

   

The average human could now die happy, or at the vey least, consider themselves full. But NOT these bitches … marching to the beat of our own fatty-boom-boom drum, we’re on to the mains 

Classic gastro with epic Fish & Chips, and the SEN-F**KING-SATIONAL pie of the day: Chicken & Haggis. Oodles of cream, white wine & sumptuous pastry. So while ordering pie can be a lottery, this is akin to winning the EuroMillions.

So MANY faves, we can’t wait to return. Though first, let’s crank up 🎶 This is How We Do it … then pair with a cheeky Malbec, a few slices of Tia Maria cheesecake, and a dram of lush Bumbu Rum, ‘cos word up: these bitches couldn’t be jollier!