Broken, definitely NOT sober, and intrigued as to the location of one’s underwear are common complaints during Edinburgh Fringe … BUT this August, these bitches have found solace at the fabulous DOWN THE HATCH.

   

Next door to Gayfield Square, this Canadian inspired eatery and bar boasts exquisite burgers, chicken wings, hot dogs, and of course the saucy national dish of poutine – which we order before even taking a seat.

Moments later, we’re diving into skin-on-fries topped with cheese curd, house gravy, bacon bits, and the somewhat genius ingredient of maple syrup.

OH MY F**KING GOD!!! This is one of the of the most amazing things we’ve ever had in our mouths … and believe us, there have been a LOT of things.

   

Anyhoo, as we sip what definitely isn’t the first drink of the day – gin & elderflower for myself, a cheeky merlot for Isaac – allow us to extol the many virtues of this wonderfully boisterous venue.

Promising BIG flavour + MASSIVE portions [ and who doesn’t love a massive portion, right ladies??  ] we can hand-on-heart attest that here you’re getting both absolute quality and quantity.

Our extensive research involves launching ourselves at the Mac of the Moment: a cheesy feast with buffalo cauliflower, plus a dash of spice – which pairs nicely with a Hershey’s chocolate shake – AND another contender for best thing in our mouths:

   

The stunning Korean Barbecue Wings with spring onion & sesame seeds. These babies are bursting with bite, and so wonderfully sticky. Even better: there’s much more juicy flesh than bone. Thank you Jesus!

With more vino en route, we now face the impossible task of choosing a burger. We adore there’s a BASIC BITCH, though being anything but, we’re going for:

The Classic: featuring two super juicy smashed beef patties, layered with American cheese, streaky bacon, mustard, ketchup & pickles on a fluffy brioche bun.

   

And then there’s the Brisket: which tops the gorgeous patty with smoked barbecue sauce, cheddar, mayo, rum soaked pineapple & crispy fried onions. DING DONG!

UTTERLY satisfied by both the sophisticated mix of flavours AND the joy of an extremely large portion, these bitches can barely walk. Though, rather bravely, we can just about make it to the bar for a tropical daiquiri or three …

DOWN THE HATCH, we love your work!