When enjoying a saucy night out at Brewhemia, the words one most wants to hear: IT’S SAUSAGE TIME, YOU LUCKY TART! Our way of saying, we’re currently two bottles in, and indulging in an irresistible experience known simply as … SAUSAGE FEST.

But backing up this train to fatty-boom-ville just a tad … we’re devouring, at pace, the new menu, kicking off: with a little fizz, cheeky bottle of Albarino, and a gorgeous dish of Hummus with preserved lemon, chilies, pomegranate & micro herbs.

Moments later, we’re greedily weighing up such diverse starters as: King Prawns with garlic & chilli butter, Gin-cured Smoked Salmon, Pork Belly bites, and an enticing Baked Camembert with pretzel, walnuts, truffle & honey.

Tempted to say “we’ll have the lot thanks and don’t skimp on the pate” [ a Monty Python ref btw ] we instead land on Robbie’s Croquettes, which playfully combines Haggis, needs, tatties & whisky crème fraiche with Spain’s fave small plate. 

Then, to really get one in the mood, we’re launching into the Bangers – a sampler of German Frankfurter bites with mustard & Brewhemia sauce. Both signature, and utterly moreish, this is most definitely the kind of sausage you want in your mouth.

Come the mains, we’re assured  there’s a shedload of Le Versant Pinot Noir  [ spicy red fruits & liquorice notes, fabulous ] BUT, total eclipse, the lush-sounding Black Forest Burger with taleggio cheese, truffle mayo & pretzel bun has just SOLD OUT!

Fortunately, there are dishes even more seductive, such as the Hot Rocks Scottish Sirloin – allowing you to cook your own steak on a 400 degree lava stone. The closest these bitches will EVER get to a kitchen, the results are f**king delicious. 

And then of course, it’s the sausage innuendos we’ve ALL been waiting for … the joy that is Sausage Fest: Bratwurst, Käsekrainer & Currywurst boasting length, girth, and sublime flavour, as well as a side of sauerkraut [ excellent for gut health, bitches ] 

So filled with sausage, these bon vivants couldn’t be happier, though sadly not longer have the room for dessert. Though of course, another bottle of that oh-so spicy Pinot Noir shouldn’t be a problem.