In the madness of the last year, we have so missed the joy of an evening spent at a favourite bar. The lively buzz of people, soulful music, and the seductive sound of a cocktail shaker. Then of course, there’s the perfect bar snacks to go with it. Fortunately, it’s an experience ONE CANONMILLS is helping us to recreate at home.
So, we begin by taking a generous sip of champagne, and imagine: fast-cut aerials of Edinburgh, the castle taking centre stage, and a retro soundtrack.
🎼 You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I first met you …
Cut to a close-up of a silver cocktail shaker in action, then a handsome barman with a well-groomed beard. He appears muscular under all that tweed, but we digress.
The Social Bitches, dressed: trademark fabulous, walk through the door. Heads turn. Was that a gasp of excitement? We think so …
Now in reality, we’ve gone from the drawing room, through the large reception hall, and arrived in our designer kitchen, but we ARE in that cocktail bar.
🎼 Don’t you want me baby, don’t you want me, a-a-a-ahhh …
Our champagne flutes magically topped up, we are ready to explore One Canon’s indulgent menu. And what better place to start than their sumptuous Bao buns.
So wonderfully soft, they’re utterly melt-in-the-mouth. As is the generous slice of pork belly within, boasting the perfect amounts of fat and flavour. It’s joined by pineapple salsa & hot chilli mayonnaise, making this an almost spiritual experience.
Speaking of which, time for our first cocktail, an enticing Smoky Diablo. Combining Mexican mezcal, orange & fennel liqueur, citrus & ginger beer, it’s dazzling. Refreshing, but with a dark smoky edge, it’s the standard all cocktails should meet.
It also pairs rather nicely with the epic XL Bacon Cheese Buffalo Burger. Though we must warn you, THIS is a bar snack requiring your appetite A-game. An unapologetic celebration of meat, and we are so glad we made it to the party!
Its thick bun is cut in three, and brings together two colossal beef patties, chunky bacon, cheese & gherkin. A delicious way to delay our inevitable drunkeness for at least another hour, we love its intensity.
🎼 Don’t you want me, a-a-a-ahhh …
After imagining we’re flirting with our imaginary barman, we move to the next bijou snackette. One of our favourite things in life actually, a gorgeous Fish Finger Burger.
While it’s one of the few delicacies we can actually cook ourselves, why would we?? The bun, the creamy tartare sauce, and exceedingly large finger are all 100% on point. Pair with champagne, and you have ultimate comfort vs. ultimate decadence.
Though it turns out, there is definitely room for one more in this perfect pairing. Introducing, the heavenly experience that is: the Frickle. Take many a gherkin [ aka pickle ] then batter, deep fry, and dress lavishly with a rich tomato sauce. WOW!
Combining intense tastes both sweet and sour, expect the pleasurable rolling of eyes, and tingling of tastebuds. You should also plan on being completely unable to stop, until the last wonderful frickle has been voraciously devoured.
🎼 I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around. Turned you into someone new …
Already we’ve reached the point in the evening where talk turns to dancing, but our flirty, tweed-wearing, and muscular imaginary-barman insists we stay for dessert. We throw our heads back, and laugh a little too enthusiastically. Okay then, go on!
Soon we’re very much enjoying a Rum & honey espresso martini. We’ve even remembered to reverse dry shake [ shake with ice / strain / shake again ] and garnish with the three coffee beans, representing: health, wealth and happiness.
The taste is flawless. With bitter and sweet perfectly balanced, no one element is fighting for supremacy. This is martini harmony, a smooth twist on a classic, and the amount of foam: very much to our liking.
As for the actual dessert, that’s Two wee cheesecakes. One Strawberry & white chocolate, which is good; and one Honey, lemon & ginger, which is incredible.
There’s also a nice touch of deconstruction, as the delicious biscuity base sits to the side, and can be crumbled then combined however you see fit.
And so, if One Canon was to ask: Don’t you want me baby? The Social Bitches would give an unequivocal YES! Our cocktails and bar snacks have been top notch, our “night out” simply delightful. Or to put it another way:
🎼 You’ve got the the world at your feet, success has been so easy for you!
Reviewed March 2021
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