While the thought of being trim, taut and terrific is endlessly appealing, sheer greed means that we’re not. But after much investigation, we’ve at least identified five contributing factors to our fat-bastard-ness:
1. The Cupcakes @ Cuckoo’s Bakery
Whether it’s a special occasion, or the inescapable fact you didn’t get enough love as a child, a cupcake is ALWAYS the perfect solution. Cuckoo’s trademarks are an enormous amount of icing; a gooey centre, such as jam, caramel or chocolate; and a range of themes, celebrating everything from Burns Night, to Anti-Valentine’s Day. Our personal favourite: the Sticky Toffee Pudding Cupcake.
150 Dundas Street, EH3 5DQ / 116 Bruntsfield Place, EH10 4ES
2. Brunch @ Urban Angel
Seriously, everything on the menu is amazing, and more often than not: organic. The coffee is also faultless. Trouble is it’s really, really difficult not to order eggs benedict with bacon, plus a side of melt in your mouth sausages, and the revelation that is veggie haggis. Our only other complaint, Urban Angel’s popularity usually means a twenty-minute wait for a table. Still, it’s worth it.
121 Hanover Street, EH2 1DJ
3. The Ice Cream @ Mary’s Milk Bar
Whoever Mary might be, we’re in love with her. Having trained at Gelato University in Bologna, she makes fresh ice cream each morning, as well as handmade chocolates. Our first visit was the day Edinburghers like to call summer (JOKE), and the queue was out the door. But again, it was worth the wait. My double-scoop ice cream was incredible, and Isaac’s search for the ultimate chocolate milkshake is now at an end.
19 Grassmarket, EH1 2HS
4. The Sausages @ Crombies of Edinburgh
The perfect Saturday morning begins with a walk to Crombies, purveyors of fine meats and award-winning sausages.
Hopefully, you’ll arrive just as they’re frying them up in store, and giving out free samples. Our favourite: the Pork & Edinburgh Ale, made with local craft beer Innis & Gunn. Just add one breakfast roll, lashings of butter plus tomato sauce, and satisfaction is guaranteed.
97 Broughton Street, EH1 3RZ
5. The Cheese Toasties @ Cairngorm Coffee
Now this is definitely our weight-loss downfall. As stated previously, Cairngorm’s cheese toastie is life changing. Three types of cheese and a generous spread of chilli jam mean the kind of contentment only a thousand calories can bring. Every bite is a wow, and every time we’re nearby one of us is compelled to utter, “You know what would be really good right now, a cheese toastie …”
41a Frederick Street, EH2 1EP / 1 Melville Place, EH3 7PR